JIMMY BUTLER TRADE MACHINE-A-PALOOZA PART II

Shams/Woj BOMB!!!! Jimmy Butler’s three preferred destinations:  Brooklyn Nets, New York Knicks, and Los Angeles Clippers! Hmmmm weird….Big market teams that can sign Kyrie next year.  STAY WOKE.


Clippers:  Jimmy Butler for Tobias Harris, Patrick Beverly, and a top 15 protected first. 

PATRICK BEVERLY AND THIBS MAKES ME SMILE.


Brooklyn: Jimmy Butler for D’Angelo Russell, Kenneth Faried, and a top 15 protected first

Russell and KAT!  Jimmy and Kyrie in BK next year!!!!!!


New York Knicks:  Jimmy Butler for Tim Hardaway, Emanuel Mudiay, and a top 15 protected first


Top 10 NBA moments of the 2000’s

We do not remember days, we remember moments – Unknown

My list of Top 10 NBA moments of the 2000s. A lot of Laker moments but I guess that’s what happens when you dominate a decade


10. Malice at the Palace: Pistons vs Pacers (2004)

It’s too bad NBA twitters wasn’t alive yet.  Can you imagine that?  List of guys that were involved: Ben Wallace, Ron Artest, Stephen Jackson, and Jermaine O’Neal.  Those are 4/5 ALL TIME DARK ALLEY NBA TEAM!  Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson are terrifying together…except on the BIG3 court.

PS:  My 2019 NBA Dark Alley Team:  PG: Patrick Beverly SG: Tony Allen SF: Lance Stephenson PF: James Johnson C: Zach Randolph (1st ballot All Dark Alley Team HOFer).


9. Vince Carter dunks over Frederic Weiss (2000)

I know this was in the Olympics but this was absolutely bananas.  He literally JUMPED over a 7 footer.  I loved Vince Carter at the 2000 Olympics.  Grew his hair out and wanted to fight everybody there.  Eff you Vince Carter was so much fun.  Who else had this poster hung up on their wall?  Slamup from SLAM magazine.  Shout out to SLAM Magazine.


8. Tracy McGrady 13 points in 33 seconds vs Spurs (2004)

Unreal.  So many GIF faces.


7. Lebron vs Detroit in the Eastern Conference Finals (2007)

48 points, scored his team’s final 25 points to secure a double-overtime Game 5 win Detroit.  Lebron God Mode.  Unstoppable.


6. Derek Fisher 0.4 shot vs Spurs (2004)

One lucky shot deserves another


5. Robert Horry game winning shot vs Kings (2002)

RIP Kings.  Ballgame.  Why didn’t Vlade just grab the ball?


4. Kobe’s 81 vs Raptors (2006)

81 fuckin points.  Miss you, Bean.


3. Allen Iverson step over Tyronn Lue (2001)

The disrespect.  The Sixers beat the Lakers in Game 1 of the 2001 finals.  The only loss in the playoffs for the Lakers that year.  This team dominates the 2018 Golden State Warriors team.


2. Vince Carter Slam Dunk Contest (2000)

The best Slam Dunk Contest performance EVER.  It’s over!!!!! It’s over ladies and gentlemen!!!! Let’s go home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


1. Kobe Oop to Shaq vs Blazers (2000)

A top 3 moment in my life.  No doubt about it.


What did I miss?

Does LeBrons migration West hurt the Cavs or help the Lakers more?

LeBron’s win-share over the last three years has been an impressive 13 games and at the age of 33 has played over 44,000 minutes in his career while leading the league in minutes. Sheeesh.

The Lakers won 35 games in 2018 and are projected to win 49.5 in 2018. +14.5

The Cavaliers won 50 games in 2018 and are projected to win 30 in 2018. -20

In 2014 during his homecoming, James increased the Cavs win total by +22; however, he was joined by an All-Star addition of Kevin Love. This begs the question, has a move like this happened in the past 20 years?

Looking back, the Celtics addition of KG and Ray Allen increased Boston’s win total by +42 from 24 wins to 66 wins in 2008. David Robinson’s injury coupled with Tim Duncan’s arrival propelled the Spurs to an additional +36 in 1998, but those were both examples of multiple players joining a team simultaneously. The last individual addition from free agency coming to mind is Steve Nash. He alone increased the Suns win total by +33 wins, but Dallas added 6 wins with Steve Nash’s departure in 2005 so throw that out.

Some sites have his exodus resulting in Cleveland only winning 25 games. Or has everyone become tantalized by the prospect of 33 year old Lebron in purple and gold?

First let’s examine who the Cleveland Cavaliers added this off-season: they signed Kevin Love to a four-year extension, resigned Rodney Hood, got back Channing Frye, added Dekker and drafted Colin Sexton, not a bad haul. Colin Sexton should thrive with the ball in his hands and three-point shooters to space the floor. It can be argued that Lebron James left a roster that is more talented and ready to compete this year than the Lakers.  Furthermore, the East is garbage, we thought they were bad before this year, but the migration of talent from the East to the West continued. 80% of the All-NBA team now resides on the best coast. For this reason alone, the Cavs can sneak into the playoffs as an 8 seed. If the Cavs can eek out 35-36 wins why couldn’t they be one of the worst teams to ever make the playoffs. While a decline is obvious, will they fall off by 20 games? Colin Sexton must have a Rookie of the Year type season and K Love needs to get back to his Minnesota days of the greenest of green lights. Doubtful but feasible.

The Lakers transactions since landing Lebron have been questionable: resigning KCP, and adding free agents Lance Stephenson, JaVale McGee, and Rajon Rondo. Couldn’t they just have resign Julius Randle and added a PG? The addition of Rondo makes sense, but the win total all hinges on Ingram, Kuzma and/or Ball improving significantly/making shots.  Lebron will get the entire roster open looks and increase their efficiency (will they knock down open looks consistently enough?). Moreover, if Luke Walton can navigate the absolutely ridiculous locker room the Lakers have they can finish top 3 in the West. This is hard to envision. The Lakers will make into the playoffs, and it has been hard to bet against Lebron in the playoffs. However, the timezone has changed and so has the competition. The Western Conference is brutal with Golden State, Houston, Utah, Denver and OKC all looking to build on last year. The Lakers will increase their win total, but 15 games seems ambitious.

 

2019 NBA Awards Prediction

Our experts (Arnold Chun, Tom Craft, Killian Pender, and Nolan Imamura) try to predict the upcoming 2019 NBA Awards:

  • MVP
  • Coach of the Year
  • Rookie of the Year
  • Most Improved Player
  • 6th Man of the Year
  • All-NBA First Team

MVP:

Giannis-Antetokounmpo-wants-LeBron-James-to-sign-with-Bucks-768x432

Arnold: Lebron James

Let’s be honest, Lebron has been the MVP of the league for the past 10 years.  The MOST VALUABLE PLAYER should go to the player who is MOST VALUABLE to their team, but the NBA and writers crave storylines (Westbrook triple double season, Harden Strip Club problems, etc…).  A rejuvenated Lebron with a young Lakers team is going to be fantastic.  Los Angeles.  Lakers.  Lights.  Lavar Ball. Lonzo Ball.  Lamelo Ball.  Liangelo Ball.  Magic brought Lebron to LA and now it’s time for Lebron to run the Lakers like Showtime Magic.

Hollywood Bron MVP.  Too good, too juicy, too sexy.   Lebron wants it this year. Lebron MVP.

Tom:  Anthony Davis

Lebron looks trendy and cool in Los Angeles, but he will be too busy promoting The Shop and building his media empire in LA to compete this year. If the Lakers are top 5 in the West, Lebron wins this award. There is no doubt- ESPN is already salivating with this prospect of LAbron and his MVP propaganda has already begun. Harden might win another MVP because there is no offensive scheme in professional sports that has earned more MVPs and gotten more players paid than Mike D’Antoni’s. Fear the Brow, Anthony Davis will finally win it. He is going to put up monstrous numbers on an improved roster short on offensive options. A hungry Anthony Davis with an improved 3 point shot, the brow will clinch the award late in this season.

Killian: Giannis Antetokounmpo

Yes, I had to google in order to spell his name. Nevertheless, I do believe this is the year of the Greek Freak (even though he is really from Nigeria and should be the NIGERIAN NIGHTMARE, but I will table that). With just a quick look at Basketball Reference, I noticed that Giannis’ career arch is very similar to Tracy McGrady’s. His most productive season of his career was in year 6 (2002-03), when he averaged 32.1 ppg, 48% from the field, 6.5 rpg, and 1.7 stl. I could see Giannis doing that easily, and with a much improved coach (check my COY pick), I would imagine a much more unlocked version of Giannis. Coming off a season in which he is in nearly every metric, you should expect the growth and consistency to continue.

Nolan: Giannis Antetokounmpo

I wanted to pick Lebron so bad for this award because of his new surroundings with the Lakers. Bringing the Lakers back from the dead will give him a lot of momentum with the award, but the dude hasn’t won in 6 years, and he’s clearly been the best player in the league during that time. Fuck it, I tried to write about why Giannis would win MVP, but Lebron’s a Laker. We’re the fuckin Lakers; he’s going to win. All that “are we going to make the playoffs” talk is absolute bologna. We have Lebron, and we’re going to contend for home court in the West.

New Prediction: LAbron; plus, how can people submit a vote for Giannis if they can’t even spell his last name.


Coach of the Year

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Arnold: Brad Stevens

Uhhh what am I missing here?  Why has Brad Stevens not been awarded Coach of the Year yet?  I get it, it’s always the coach that exceeds preseason expectations, but Brad Stevens is the best coach in the NBA right now. I said it. ATO MASTERO.  Look at Stevens record since becoming the Celtics coach:

  • 25-57
  • 40-42
  • 48-34
  • 53 -29
  • 55 – 27

Does he have to win 60 games to get COY? If Boston wins 60 games and Stevens doesn’t win COY, I will literally shit my pants like Paul Pierce did during his wheelchair game.

Tom: Brett Brown

With 9 coaching changes this off-season, it’s obvious that these guys have short shelf lives. The team likely to exceed expectations/overcome an injury will be the 76ers and Brett Brown. The 76ers stayed relatively quiet this offseason re-signing JJ Redick and trading away Mikal Bridges for a future lottery pick. The x-factor is Markelle Fultz. If Brett Brown can squeeze close to or over 15 ppg out of Fultz, this will open up the entire offense, and the 76ers will have close to 60 victories.

Killian: Mike Budenholzer

We all understand that the easiest way to predict who will be coach of the year is to guess who will have the greatest improvement in win total. In the 2014-15 season, Budenholzer led the Hawks to a 60-win season, and I would contend that the Bucks have a better roster and probably a weaker field in the East. At only 44-38 last season, I could see a world in which they add 10 wins this season. I hope and imagine that Budenholzer will be a little more creative in the playcalling and sets. Losing Parker sucks but Giannis keeps getting better, Bledsoe will get more comfortable with Giannis, and I stan for Thon Maker.

Nolan: Brad Stevens

Four out of the past five seasons, this award has gone to the coach of a team who finished first in their conference (Casey, Kerr, Budenholzer, and Pop). The only exception was D’Antoni whose team finished 2nd in the West. Stevens has generally been considered a top 3 coach in the NBA for the past couple of years. His reputation as a top-end coach, combined with the likely fact that the Celtics are going to run all over the East, makes Stevens the easy choice. There’s just too much talent on that Celtics team for Stevens to not run through the East.


Rookie of the Year

luka

Arnold: Luka Doncic

Nineteen effin years old and he just DOMINATED the EuroLeague.  Look what he did in 2018:

  • EuroLeague Champion
  • EuroLeague MVP
  • EuroLeague Final Four MVP
  • EuroLeague Rising Star
  • All-EuroLeague First Team
  • Liga ACB Champion
  • Liga ACB MVP

NINETEEN EFFIN YEARS OLD.  WHY DID THE HAWKS PASS ON HIM?  I know Carlisle hates rookies but Doncic isn’t a normal rookie.  Doncic is going to have the ball in his hand and he’s going to make the Hawks regret trading down to draft Trae Young.

PLUS THIS….

210A4942-4841-40D1-9677-12804A0B4A13

Tom: Deandre Ayton

This one is not even close. He is David Robinson with a jumper, he is a bully that will dunk on anybody anywhere but that can beat you with a jump shot. He has enough basketball awareness to pass out of a double team. Deandre has been getting double-teamed since he started playing basketball in high school and it was even happening in summer league. His defense won’t be there initially for a bottom dwelling Suns team, but his offense will. Ayton will average close to 20-10 and help the Suns grab a marquee free agent next year.

Killian Pender: Collin Sexton

I am just going to have to be a homer on this one just to keep a tad of a ray of light in Cleveland and pick Colin Sexton. I believe that some of the other easy choices won’t be able to put up the same numbers or the wins honestly. I believe that the Cavs will make the playoffs, useless 7 or 8 seed, but still it is the playoffs. Sexton should be the primary ballhandler all year and be able to use Love for easy assists. Not sure if I believe this one, but damn I hope so.

Nolan: Luka Doncic

What made last year’s ROY race so good was that Simmons and Mitchell were both on playoff teams. This year’s class has no teams in position to succeed, with a rookie being an integral part. Ayton is good, but he’s going to be overshadowed by Booker all year and the Suns are dog shit. Bagley is going to put up his stats, but again his team is a cellar dweller in the West, which brings me to Luka Doncic and his hot mom. The dudes been playing as a professional for years now and his transition will likely be a lot easier than the other rookies. I trust Carlisle understands what he has with Doncic and is going to let him and DSJ run the team. All that opportunity is going to lead to stats on a team that can at least compete on a night-to-night basis.


Most Improved Player:

Boston Celtics v Los Angeles Lakers

Arnold: Brandon Ingram

Brandon Ingram will be an All-Star.  Maybe not this year but next year 100%.  I’m taking this one to grave with me.  This is the year BI goes off as Lebron’s sidekick.  I swear it is, I promise you it is.  People forget that BI is a year younger than Jaylen Brown and 15 months younger than Ben Simmons.  Second best player behind Bron for the Lakers, I believe in Brandon Ingram. 20 points, 5 rebounds, and 5 assists this year.

Tom:  Jabari Parker

Jabari Parker is coming home and will get things right. While he somehow got paid 20 million dollars a year to go to Chicago, expectations are relatively low. Parker will bounce back from an up and down career in Milwaukee and put it all together on a team where he could turn into the go-to option. Lauri Markannen will create space, and Wendell Carters feel on offense will allow Parker the freedom to maneuver and possibly double his 12 points, 5 rebounds, and 2 assists of last year.

Killian: Lance Stephenson

Lance. Yes, that Lance Born Ready Lance. I believe that Lance is going to love LA, and I believe that LeBron is going to be pivotal in his development, even at age 28. I know it’s an odd pick, but hell how can you truly predict this. No one knew what Oladipo would do last year with just a better situation and hitting the gym a little more. Maybe it was Oladipo getting in the way of Lance. Additionally, since I am now forced to watch the Lakers regularly, I want to be entertained. Also, this is Bron’s rest season, so he will.

Nolan: Markelle Fultz

June 2017: 1st overall pick.

October 2017: forgot how to shoot a basketball.

Present: knows how to shoot a basketball and claims he’s back to the player he was that made him the #1 pick.


Sixth Man of the Year:

lou

Arnold: Julius Randle

I am dying on Julius Randle Hill.  The Lakers not re-signing him killed me (thank you Aaron Mintz).  I don’t have anything else to say honestly, except f*** you Aaron Mintz.

Tom: Julius Randle

With Manu Ginobili retiring and Jamal Crawford unsigned, the 6th man OGs have taken their lumps this off-season. Lou Williams and Eric Gordon will hang around, but Julius Randle has the juice. He will punish second teams and build on his 16ppg-8rpg from last year, dominating slower big men and posting up smaller defenders while throwing lobs to Davis.

Killian: Lou Williams

Because I do not have a better answer.

Nolan: KUUUUUUUZZZZMANIA

The dudes love him on the court, and the ladies love him off the court. A lady admirer of Kuz once said, “He’s my favorite player because, first and foremost, he has a great smile.” Lou Williams won last year in a landslide not because he averaged 22 ppg, but because the ladies love Lou; the dude has two wives. I see all this talk about how Kuz’s game is totally different and he’s going to shock people, but all I know is that the dude has probably been killing it at the clubs. Kuz’s confidence is going to be at an all-time high after hanging with LA chicks all summer. In all seriousness, he’s going to be playing crunch-time on the Lakers, averaging around 15ppg and 6rbs. I think that’s enough for Most Improved.


ALL NBA 1st Team:

kyrie

Arnold:

  • G: Kyrie Irving
  • G: James Harden
  • F: Kevin Durant
  • F: Lebron James
  • C: Joel Embiid

Yes, I left Steph (doesn’t play enough games) and AD off my first team.  I know it should be AD, but I can’t stop thinking about this game from JoJo last year.

PS: Don’t forget about Kawhi – cause we all did.

Tom:

  • G: Kyrie Irving- The Celtics are loaded and if healthy, he will have the best season of his career.
  • G: James Harden- Iso Harden will punish opponents while James gets his.
  • F: Kevin Durant- Efficiency will be at an all time high. Unstoppable on offense.
  • F: Lebron James- 11 years in a row, make it 12. If for no other reason, he will be on a nationally televised game every night.
  • C: Anthony Davis MVP season will average close to 30 pts and increase Pels win total.

Killian:

  • G: Harden
  • G: Russ
  • F: Giannis
  • F: Durant
  • C: Embiid

Nolan:

  • G: Kyrie Irving
  • G: Steph Curry
  • F: Kevin Durant
  • F: Lebron James
  • C: Anthony Davis

NBA Trade Machine-a-palooza: Jimmy Butler Edition!

Well that was fun.  It only took Jimmy Butler ONE season to hate KAT and Andrew Wiggins.  According to SOURCES, Karl Anthony-Towns won’t resign with the T-wolves til after the Jimmy Butler situation is resolved (aka traded).

According to Shams,

There’s been a lot of uncertainty around Jimmy Butler all summer. He hasn’t been back to Minnesota. This is going to be a telltale week for him. Very much so, I’m told, this a last-ditch meeting for the Minnesota Timberwolves and Tom Thibodeau, and how they respond and how Jimmy responds to it will be interesting.

Karl-Anthony Towns, who’s one of the top talents in the league, has yet to sign his rookie max extension, which should be a no-brainer. And I’m told there won’t be any decision on that until this Jimmy Butler situation resolves itself.

Butler can become an unrestricted free agent next summer.  And if letting Butler leave is required to keep Towns long-term, it’d be better to trade Butler now rather than letting him walk for nothing next off-season.

So let’s take a look at five trades that make sense and are WOJ BOMB level (I’m still 70% sure Butler and Kyrie are going to the Knicks next year):

Trade 1:  Josh Jackson and Tyson Chandler for Jimmy Butler

jimmy1

I know I know, why would Phoenix trade Josh Jackson for a year of Jimmy Butler?  I hate to use this but look what OKC did!  They just kept Paul George in OKLAHOMA CITY!!!  PG and Jimmy Butler don’t seem like the same kind of guys but if you’re Phoenix….why not take a swing and try to get a Top 15-20 guy in the league?

Booker, Butler, and Ayton is fun (or Butler – Wiggins – KAT 2.0)!  You’re taking a huge chance but HEAR ME OUT:

IF YOU CAN RESIGN JIMMY YOU HAVE A CHANCE AT KYRIE NEXT SUMMER!!!!!

Kyrie – Booker – Jimmy – Bridges – Ayton for the next 5 years together?!?!?

Holy shit, did I just fix the Suns with one trade?  You’re welcome Tomi Kraft.  I  love this trade for Phoenix.

And if you’re Minnesota you move forward with a KAT – Wiggins – Jackson trio……Obviously not good enough but that’s what you get for paying Wiggins.  Wiggins and Jackson out on the wing together sounds exciting?  Minnesota probably doesn’t make the playoffs with this team.  Oh well.

TRADE 2: Jimmy Butler for CJ McCollum

CJ

We’re all sick of this but let’s say Portland FINALLY DECIDES TO blow it up and hit the reset button.  I can’t believe I am saying this but Kevin Durant is right, Portland is never winning with a Lillard – McCollum backcourt.

Portland probably says no to this – but this is fun to think about.  Dame time and Jimmy Buckets in the same backcourt?  BRING ON STEPH AND KLAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know for a fact that Dame thinks he is better than Steph and Jimmy Butler thinks he’s better than Klay.  Who wins 2 vs 2 to 21?

McCollum, KAT, and Wiggins?  You prob give up 200 points a game with that lineup but that’s why you have the TIMBERBULLS LEAD BY THIBS!!!!!!!!

If Minnesota adds a non-protected future first…does Portland say yes????? hmmmmmmmmmmmm?

Trade 3:  Kyle Kuzma and Kentavious Caldwell-Pope for Jimmy Butler

Let’s say Ingram takes the leap this year.  Let’s say the Lakers are close at the All Star Break and feel like they can make a run at it this year.  Do they just say, “eff it let’s go for it this year?”  Probably not because Durant is going to sign with the Lakers next season.  But let’s say they do…….

They can offer a package built around Kuz and one of the guys on a one year contract (except KCP cause he’s a Klutch guy) for Jimmy Butler

Crunch time you roll with Lonzo – Hart – Butler – Ingram – Lebron?  All 6-5 or taller and you switch everything on defense.  Call me effin crazy but that five can match-up with any other 5 in the league including Golden State.

If you’re the Wolves you know you’re losing Butler this off-season.  You might not get a better offer than this.  Kuz and KAT as your 4-5.  That has potential for a cool front-court nickname.

Trade 4:  Robert Covington and Markelle Fultz for Jimmy Butler 

phi

SIMMONS – REDICK – BUTLER – SARIC – EMBIID!!!!!!!!!!!!!  THE PROCESS IS COMPLETE!

The Sixers should have made it to the Eastern Conference Finals last year.  They were better than Boston.  Let’s say Simmons and Embiid take another jump this year (which is absolutely terrifying to think about) and you add Jimmy Butler to that team?  Why wouldn’t Philly do this?  Seriously?

Minnesota rolls with Fultz (who can hopefully still play basketball), Wiggins, and KAT for the next 10 years…..

Wait, this trade feels like it makes too much sense.  But the Sixers passed on Kawhi for Fultz and Covington, right?

TRADE 5:  Otto Porter for Jimmy Butler and Tyus Jones

otto

All of a sudden Washington looks fuckin good with this trade!  I’m not sure how a Wall, Beal, Butler, and Dwight locker room works but they can try to figure it out.  If Washington makes this trade their playoff rotations is Wall, Beal, Jimmy, Oubre, Morris, Howard, Austin Rivers, and Jeff Green?  Something like that?  In the East?  ITS NOT THAT BAD!  That team can contend in the East, I think?  I would love to be in a locker room with these group of guys.  This might be another guns in the Washington locker room situation.

For Minnesota: You get Otto Porter for 4 years at $107 million – LOL

My fandom is a JOKE by Killian Pender

This team is destined to be a mess.

Honestly, I do not even need to do any reading to put this together. This has been the worst possible start to the season that we could have had. I suppose that many would disagree because each game was “close” but did anyone ACTUALLY think we would win? If we had an average coaching staff and an average kicker we would be 2-0. If we had an above replacement quarterback, coaching staff, and kicker we would be 2-0 with two blowout wins and moving up everyone’s Power Rankings.

In week 1 we forced 6 turnovers and scored 7 point in 3.5 quarters of play, pitiful. The defense truly has talent and has played well in each game. Despite, cutting a starting linebacker right before the season. Denzel Ward who was on a freaking milk carton during Hard Knocks (even though we had to see a 10 minute segment on a backup QB and girlfriend that no one thought was making the team) even though he was the fourth pick in the draft made his regular season debut with two INTs against Big Ben. Garrett was borderline dominant and I am excited to see a full season. Josh Gordon made a spectacular TD catch that at the time I could only think what the rest of the season would hold as he got in shape and in rhythm. The play calling was terrible especially late. I refuse to do any research but the number of runs on first down is ridiculous. Lombardi made a throwaway comment in the preseason about how good teams do not simply run on first and 10 each series, well we ain’t good then.

Despite all of that we did tie the game coming back from 14 down in the fourth, and again fooled me into believing. Not only could we not score in OT we missed a kick that unfortunately a sign of things to come…

Now yesterday…. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FREAKING KIDDING. First Ballot Hall of Famer Drew Brees could not do anything throughout that game. BUT, even though freaking Ryan Fitzpatrick basically put up a 50 burger on the Saints defense our offense remained stagnant. I nearly gave up on the team when on a fourth and short at midfield we ran the ball to nowhere. We kept it close and on what should have been our first of two game winning drives Tyrod took a fourth and five OVER THE FREAKING TOP to the end zone to Callaway who I believe is just too similar to Josh Gordon both on and off the field. Of course, the guy that does not throw picks THROWS A PICK, because Browns.

Again, the freaking kicker. This guy has one job, I cannot believe they even allowed him back on the plane. I am disgusted, truly disgusted. I would rather get smoked twice in a row instead of a tie and a nasty loss. Sometimes I start to believe that this team is truly cursed and I am far beyond the point of feeling like any of this is an exaggeration. I really want to believe there is a way to turn this around and now we have a Thursday night game and good lord, we are favorites. Stay away from this game bettor or call a gambling addiction hotline because you have a problem.

Probably means nothing to the team but I’ll say it anyhow; onward and upward!

2018 NFL QB Trade Value Part I

I stole this column idea from Bill Simmons.  He used to do this every year for the NBA.  This is my attempt at coming up with a 2018 NFL QB Trade Value column.  Which QB has the highest trade value in the league?  This was hard as shit.  A lot harder than a NBA edition would be.  A lot of…..

“Yea Player A is better BUT Player B makes 10x less.”

“This guy only has two years left.”

“Eh I don’t know, he probably deserves to be higher/lower.”

Here are the rules:


 1.  Salaries matter.  I decided to use this years Salary Cap hit and pretend it’s the QBs salary over the next four years.  So for example, JIMMY G. at $37 MILLION every year for THE NEXT FOUR YEARS (I still don’t get how Jimmy G. got this contract).  Would you rather pay Pat Mahomes $3 million or Matt Stafford $26.5 million every year for the next four years?

2  Age matters. Would you rather have Drew Brees for the next two seasons or Jared Goff for the next 10?

3  Pretend the league passed the following rule: For 24 hours, any player can be traded without cap ramifications but with luxury-tax ramifications. So if Team A tells Team B, “We’ll trade you Player X for Player Y,” would Team B make the deal?

4  Concentrate on degrees. Neither Pats nor Eagles would make a Brady-Wentz trade, but the Pats would at least say, “Wow, Carson Wentz is available?” and have a meeting about it (and probably drive Tom Brady to the airport), while the Eagles would say, “There’s no fuckin’ way we’re trading Carson Wentz.” That counts in the big scheme of things.

5  The list runs in reverse order (Nos. 32 to 1). So if Philip Rivers comes in at No. 16, players 1 through 15 are all players about whom the Chargers would probably say, “We hate giving up Rivers, but we definitely have to consider this deal.” And they wouldn’t trade him straight-up for any player listed between Nos. 17 and 32


This was REALLY hard.

But I gave it a shot.  Here is Part I (32-18) of the NFL QB Trade Value rankings:

Group A: The “I can’t believe we’re stuck with these guys.”

32.  Joe Flacco: $25 million

Yes, you read that right. Can you imagine paying Flacco $25 million per season? GULP.  Ray Lewis got away with murder but HOLY CRAP JOE FLACCO!  Since their Super Bowl win in 2012 (and his monster contract extension), the Ravens have made the playoffs ONCE.  They’re 37-36 and haven’t won their division ONCE.  Paying your QB $25 million a year to go 37-36 is a death sentence.  Joe Flacco for $25 million a year.  Jesus Christ.  How many times will the cameras flash to Lamar Jackson after a Flacco INT this year?  O/U set at 13.5.

Remember when Ray Lewis ripped Joe Flacco:

http://www.espn.com/blog/baltimore-ravens/post/_/id/31763/ray-lewis-calls-out-joe-flacco-for-lacking-passion-for-the-game

31.  Derek Carr: $25 million

According to NFL’s leading stats expert, Bud Goode, the most important stat for a QB to be rated by is yards per pass attempt.  Among QBs that qualify (minimum 1500 pass attempts), Derek Carr is TIED for 162nd (out of 185 QBs) at 6.6 yard per pass attempt.  Dead last among active QBs.  You hate to see this.  This throw was absolutely amazing. What a throw from the $25 million quarterback.  I love me some Derek Carr.

cdcarr.gif

You also hate to see your new coach blast you like this after your first game:

“Cooper was open deep, he was open a couple times. For whatever reason, we didn’t go there.”

I would love to be in a Carr-Gruden QB camp/meeting session.  How amazing would that be?  “GREAT THROW DEREK!  I LOVE IT.  YOU’RE A TRUE GRUDEN GRINDER!”  I thought it was HILARIOUS that the Texans passed on Derek Carr because his older brother was a BUST for them.  Is Derek Carr the most overrated QB in the league right now?  I think so.

30.  Eli Manning: $22 million

Two-time Super Bowl Champion, two-time Super Bowl MVP – both against the Patriots.  Pretty f’in impressive.

Last year Eli threw the least number of TDs since 2013*  BUT he also threw the least number of INTs since 2008!  Eli wasn’t THAT BAD last year.  He finished the year 15th in TDs and 18th in total yards but DEAD LAST IN YARDS PER ATTEMPT.

At age 37, I think the Giants would trade Eli for anyone except Nate Pederman.  Actually, they probably would.  This is the same organization that benched him for Geno Smith.  We’ll miss the Eli face when he’s gone.

eli face

*Eli’s 2013 season:  Easily the worst year of his career.  18 TDS- the fewest in his career, excluding his rookie year where he only started six games.  Twenty seven INTs- the most in his career.  This was the year after they won the Super Bowl.  Too many Natty Lights for Eli in the off-season.

29.  Blake Bortles: $10 million

Blake gonna Blake.  If you make Blake a game manager, he’s NOT THAT BAD.  IF you ask Blake to throw the ball 40 times in a game, you are FUCKED.  I am just waiting for the moment Jalen Ramsey loses it and goes to the media about Blake Bortles.  That is going to happen 100%.  Odds are set at -500.  Bortles threw for 4,428 yards and 35 touchdowns in 2015 (both franchise records).  I wonder how many of those came in garbage time?

Bortles versus the Bills in the playoffs last year: 12/23, 87 yards, 1 TD, 0 INT, and 88 RUSHING YARDS.  Yes, he had more rushing yards than passing yards.  BLAKE VICK!!!!!

28. Ryan Tannehill: $9 million

Ryan Tannehill’s record as a starting QB: 37-40.

  • 2012: 7-9
  • 2013: 8-8
  • 2014: 8-8
  • 2015: 6-10
  • 2016: 8-5
  • 2017:  Missed due to injury.

WE NEED A JEFF FISHER-TANNEHILL SEASON!!!!!!!!!  But in all seriousness, Tannehill has thrown 13 or fewer INTs in four of his previous five seasons.  Is it ok to call him a poor man’s Alex Smith?  Nine million a year isn’t too bad.  This feels a little low, but I can’t move a .500 guy up any further. Tannehill is a weird story.  He started as a QB in college, switched over to WR, then switched back to play QB IN THE NFL.  What sense does that make?  We see QBs play WR in the NFL all the time.  But a college WR playing QB in the NFL?  WTF.  Fake NFL Trade Machine trade propsal: Tannehill for Bortles. Who says no?

Did you know Tannehill owns the NFL RECORD for the most consecutive pass completions, with 25 completions?  I know you didn’t.

27.  Case Keenum: $15 million

Case Keenum, NCAA’s all time leader in total passing yards, touchdowns, and completions.  But I hate this contract.  Fifteen million for Case Keenum is way too much.  It tells me something whens a team goes 11-3 (one game away from the Super Bowl) and doesn’t bring their QB back for another shot.  The Vikings were close last year.  That pick 6 early in the NFC championship game killed them.  The Vikings might be (probably are) the best team in the NFL, and they decided to pass on Case Keenum.  They saw enough to say, “Case was good for us last year, but we can’t win the Super Bowl with him as our QB.”  Case Keenum starting at QB for the Broncos line is set at 1.5 years.  Are you taking the over/under on that?

The Vikings had Case Keenum, Sam Bradford, and Teddy Bridgewater last year.  It’s too bad they couldn’t fuse those three QBs together to make one ultimate quarterback: Tecasam Keefordwater.  Would that even be a top 10 QB?

26.  Andy Dalton: $16 million

The Red Rocket.  The Ginger.  The Dalton Line, created by Chris Wesseling, is the hierarchy of NFL quarterbacks. Which player is the “worst” of the acceptable franchise quarterbacks?  Good enough to build around but not good enough to take you to the Super Bowl.  It’s a gift and a curse.  Do you think the Bengals regret drafting Andy Dalton?  Probably not.  They’ve been pretty good for the past couple of years, but they’ve been stuck in the middle, either in the playoffs for one game or missing the playoffs by one game.  It’s the worst place to be as a franchise.  You want to be contending for a championship or you want to be dead last.  What’s crazy about this run is that Marvin Lewis has been the Bengals coach SINCE 2003!!!!  2003!!!!!!!! What?!?!?!

I love the Dalton Line.  Who replaces Dalton as the new Dalton Line when he’s gone?  Who’s the Dalton Line in the NBA?  Damian Lillard?

25.  Ben Roethlisberger: $23 million

The only reason Big Ben is this low is because this is probably be going to be his last season.  The Steelers would never trade him, or would they?  Since 2011, he’s thrown at least 20 TDs every season, including 29 last year, which is tied for third best in his career.  He also attempted 561 passes last year, his most since 2014.  In their playoff loss last year against the Jaguars, he threw for 469 yards and 5 TDs.

So maybe he’s not done after this year? Wait, he just threw three INTs against the Browns last weekend. No, he’s definitely done.  Ben and Eli owe AB and Odell each about an extra $10 million for adding five years to their QB lifespan.

Ben won 2 Super Bowls in the first five years of his career but none in the past ten.  He’s also the youngest QB to ever win a Super Bowl.

Group B:  The “We just drafted these guys, we don’t know how good they’re going to be yet” and Jameis/Mariota. 

24.  Jameis Winston: $8 million

What happened to Jameis?  This whole Jameis/Mariota thing has been kind of weird.  Drafted one and two, and they haven’t done anything in the league.  I don’t think this is talked about enough.  Both guys have losing records and a combined one playoff win.

Winston:  11,646 yards with 69 touchdown passes and 44 interceptions in three NFL seasons.

Mariota: 9,476 yards, 58 TDS, and 34 interceptions.

Winston’s career record as a starter: 18-27 and one suspension for harassing an Uber driver.

Mariota’s record: 20-22 and one playoff win.

Are they just average QBs in the league?  I’m not saying they suck, but didn’t we all expect more from both quarterbacks?  They’re going into year four now and if this isn’t the year they show out, what’s next?  Are we sure that Jameis will be on the Bucs after this season?  If there’s a re-draft, Mariota gets drafted before Winston, right?  Will Jameis get in trouble again or lead his team to the playoffs first?

23. Josh Allen: $4 million

I remember when I first saw Allen throwing at the combine thinking HOLY F$(#$@#( SHIT.  ROCKET ARM ALERT!!!  I also know that Jalen Ramsey thinks he’s “trash.”

“I think Allen is trash,” Ramsey told GQ. “I don’t care what nobody say. He’s trash. And it’s going to show too. That’s a stupid draft pick to me. We play them this year, and I’m excited as hell. I hope he’s their starting quarterback.”

I also have zero faith in a QB doing well in Buffalo.  I know the Browns get shit for this, but what about the Bills?  Their starting quarterbacks since 2005:

  • 2005-2006: JP Losman
  • 2007-2008: Trent Edwards
  • 2009-2012: Ryan Fitzpatrick
  • 2013: EJ Manuel (That was an awful pick)
  • 2014: Kyle Orton
  • 2015: Matt Cassel
  • 2016-2017: Tyrod Taylor

I mean Fitzpatrick had a couple of good years but that’s not a good list of QBs.  What makes you think Josh Allen will do well in Buffalo?  He’s only ranked this high because of his ROCKET ARM, huge hands, and his salary, which is only $4 million.

josh allen.gif

Actually, nevermind.  He’s going to be awful.

22.  Mitch Trubisky: $7 million

Mitchell Trubisky.  I have watched Mitchell play football once and that was this past Monday night versus the Packers.  Nagy was doing everything he could to protect Mitchell.  I thought he was most effective running with the ball which probably isn’t a good thing for a quarterback.

But how about this for a Trubisky stat:

2017- Passes past the LOS:

  • Left: 17/45 (37.8%), 272 yards, 1 TD, 2 INTs.  Passer Rating of 47.6.
  • Right/Middle: 131/209 (62.7%), 1625 yards, 5 TDs, 5 INTs.  Passer Rating of 84.7.

Week 1 against the Packers- Passes past the LOS:

  • Left: 0/1, 0 yards, 0 TDs.
  • Right/Middle: 12/15 (80%), 133 yards, 0 TDs.

FE7BDD91-D3B3-478B-9D1D-FB53B905A2B0

WHAT????  How is this a thing with a NFL starting quarterback?  Next time I watch the Bears ,this will have my FULL ATTENTION.

21.  Josh Rosen: $4 million

The Rosen One is my favorite QB out of this draft class.  Yes, mostly because he played at UCLA.

I know people hate Josh Rosen.  I get why some people hate him.  Especially, after he told reporters, “There were nine mistakes made ahead of me, and I’m going to make sure they all know it was a mistake. I thought I should have been picked at 1, 2 or 3. I dropped and I was pissed. I was really, really angry.”

But you know what?  That’s exactly what I want my QB to say!  That’s exactly the kind of guy I want playing QB for my team.  Cocky, confident, and California cooooooooooooool.  I want my QB to be an ALPHA and that’s what ALPHA’s say.  You want your QB to roll over and give a soft ass answer like, “I’m just lucky to be in this situation, I can’t complain.”  FUCK NO.  I want my QB to be a M’fer.  You know who loved what Rosen said?  EVERYONE in his locker room and that’s all that matters.  I’m not saying he’s Aaron Rodgers at all but you CAN’T say they’re not the EXACT SAME PERSON.

Josh Rosen will be the best QB out of this draft class, and I’m pissed he’s in the NFC West.

 

20.  Marcus Mariota: $ 7 million

See above under Jameis Winston for comments.

19.  Baker Mayfield: $6 million

Serious question:  What happens first?  Hue gets fired or Baker starts for the Browns?  Right now I have Hue at -200 and Baker at -110.  I was shocked when the Browns drafted Baker with the first pick.  I thought it was going to be Darnold 100000%, but Baker has the story to become the QB that Cleveland needs.  He walked on and started at Texas Tech then transferred to Oklahoma and walked on AGAIN AND WON THE QB COMPETITION. The rest is history.  Don’t you think the Browns wanted/need a QB like that? Not a lot of spread offense and small guys make it in the NFL but not a lot of guys walk on to TWO different teams and win the starting job.  Oh yea, and he won the Heisman.  I’m rooting for Baker.

18.  Sam Darnold:  $6 million

Can you imagine your first NFL throw going the other way for a pick 6?  That’s exactly what happened to Darnold.  Besides that, Darnold looked pretty good on MNF against the Lions, but let’s all calm down, it was one game.  Every Jets fan is going crazy right now.  Darnold is going to have some ugly games where he throws 3 INTs.  This is probably too high for Darnold RIGHT NOW but wouldn’t you take a chance on him over the next 10 years versus every QB behind him in this ranking (and probably a couple of the QBs ranked ahead of him)?

I can’t believe the Giants passed on Darnold to draft a running back.

 

…to be continued.  Part II coming soon. 

 

My 4 burning questions for the 2018-2019 NFL season


1.  Can a real 1st round WR please stand up? 

Here’s a list of the 26 WRs drafted in the first round since 2012.  In 2011 AJ Green, Julio Jones, and Jonathan Baldwin were drafted in the first round, poor Jonathan Baldwin.

2012: Justin Blackmon, Michael Floyd, Kendall Wright, AJ Jenkins

(HOLY FUCKIN SHIT THIS IS BAD. NONE OF THESE GUYS ARE ON NFL ROSTERS THIS YEAR.  Blackmon and Floyd combined for more DUIs than TDs)

2013: Deandre Hopkins (Check out the 2012 Clemson team: Deandre Hopkins, Sammy Watkins, Martavis Bryant, Adam Humpheries, Jaron Brown, and Andre Ellington…ok wow) and Cordaralle Patterson (THE VIKINGS LET HIM WEAR NUMBER 84!!! THE DISRESPECT)

2014: Sammy Watkins, Mike Evans, Odell Beckham, Brandin Cooks, and  Kelvin Benjamin

2015: Amari Cooper, Kevin White (RIP), DeVante “year away from being a year away” Parker, Nelson Agholor, Breshad Perriman, and Phillip Dorsett

2016: Corey Coleman, Will Fuller, Josh Doctson, Laquon Treadwell

2017: Corey Davis, Mike Williams, John Ross.  I still believe in these 3 guys, gulp.

2018: DJ Moore and Calvin Ridley: TBD

I mean how many no shit he is a legit WR1/top 15 guy do we have out of that group?  Odell, Hopkins, and maaaaaayyyyybeeeeee Mike Evans????  Who will stand up or show potential as a WR1 this year from the 2017/2018 class?

It kills me not to include Brandin Cooks in that group…..


2.  Who’s in and Who’s out?

i

Last year’s playoff teams:

AFC: Pats, Steelers, Jags, Chiefs, Titans, Bills

NFC: Eagles, Vikings, Rams, Saints, Panthers, Falcons

The Bills are maybe winning three fucking games this year so they’re automatically disqualified.

Teams that will/have a CHANCE TO get in:

AFC:  Pats, Steelers, Jags, Chiefs, Titans, Chargers, Texans, Ravens

(The AFC is 3 moves/injuries away from being called the Eastern Conference of the NBA)

NFC: Eagles, Vikings, Rams, Saints, Panthers, Falcons, Packers, Bears, Cowboys, 49ers (The 49ers have so much hype, I hope they go 4-12).

So out of that group, who’s in and who’s out?  Going to guarantee only half these teams make the playoffs and I will look like an idiot.


3. Is this the year Brady and the Pats start to fall?

brady

I don’t even have energy/time for this.  They’ll win the worst division in ALL OF SPORTS.  BUT….is this the year we finally see the decline of Brady and the Pats?  Remember that ass whooping the Chiefs put on Brady 3 years ago on MNF?!? And the HE’S DONE talk?!?  I am ready for that to be reality AND THIS IS THE YEAR IT STARTS.  It’s been a good run, Thomas.  Walk into the sunset with your UGGs.


4.  How many games before Hue Jackson gets fired?

hj

Hue Jackson is +500 to be the first coach fired.  THAT IS FREE MONEY.  1-31 in the past two years.  I bet Steve Kerr would’ve gone at least 16-16 with that team.  Absolutely ridiculous that he is still the coach.  Here’s the Browns schedule for the first 7 weeks:

Week 1: vs Steelers:  Division game so they have a chance but they’ll lose

Week 2: vs Saints:  Getting absolutely blown out

Week 3: vs Jets: Thursday night football.  Why does the NFL do this to us

Week 4: vs Raiders: Hue’s revenge game but will probably lose.

Week 5: vs Ravens: hmmmmmm maybe?

Week 6: vs Chargers: No, automatic L

Week 7: vs Buccaneers: “LOSER FIRES THEIR COACH ON THE BUS GAME”

I have Week 3 circled.  If they start 0-3 the Browns better fire him.  If he survives that (he survived 1-31) then it’s after Week 7.

I’m officially calling this the “Loser Fires their Coach on the Bus Game.”  Bucs fire Koetter if they lose OR Browns fire Hue if they lose.  Guessing the line for that game: Browns +2.5


Bonus question:  What if Aaron Rodgers never won that Superbowl in 2011? 

Divisional Round - Green Bay Packers v Dallas Cowboys

It’s crazy what ONE Super Bowl early in your career can do for you.  But what if he didn’t win that Super Bowl?

Joe Flacco: 10 wins 5 losses. 1 Super Bowl

Aaron Rodgers: 9 wins 7 losses. 1 Super Bowl

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?  It’s close, but Aaron Rodgers is the best QB in the NFL.

List of girls Aaron Rodgers has dated or is dating: Olivia Munn, Erin Andrews, Danica Patrick, Kelly Robarch.